I apologize in advance for slang, poor tenses, and any glaring grammatical errors, I tossed my scholarly hat for this post.
Thanksgiving cartoons are lame!
If you are lucky, you can watch The Mouse on The Mayflower, but for some reason the networks never show that one.
I saw it once when I was seven.
Look a cute little Pilgrim mouse and a cute little Native American mouse!
There is A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, the parents abandon The Peanuts Gang and the children must eat wheat bread and popcorn for dinner. They show that cartoon every stinkin’ year!
I can never enjoy this cartoon, I am too busy worrying about why their parents abandoned them!
When is CPS coming to pick up The Peanuts Gang?
Will the foster home let Charlie Brown and Snoopy stay together?
Will they develop diabetes or scurvy from eating only bread and popcorn?
And more importantly, what the heck is scurvy? Is it a pirate disease? Arrghh, swab the decks you scurvy knaves!
Or they show This is America Charlie Brown, a cartoon about the Mayflower crossing which is as historically accurate as possible while still a Charlie Brown cartoon.
Speaking of scurvy, I think they actually get scurvy in this one, The Peanuts Gang faces so many hardships!
They show this one every year, too!
Well, you can always watch Rankin & Bass’s The Hobbit!
The Hobbit is on a perpetual loop every Thanksgiving!
Why? It’s horrible! They just erased the plot and sang the stupid poems! How is that entertaining?
Hey, Tolkien fans do not send me hate mail, I am a pre-Peter Jackson Tolkien fan, I read The Silmarillion several times. I just don’t like Rankin & Bass’s version of The Hobbit.
But seriously, what does The Hobbit have to do with Thanksgiving?
I am thankful I do not need to solve riddles to save my life??
I am thankful my town is dragon-free???
I am thankful dwarves aren’t showing up randomly and eating my food????
Oh! Maybe it’s because there is a the big feast at Bilbo’s house in the beginning because that is the only Thanksgiving-themed element!
Suffice to say, once the Macy’s Parade is over, find something else to do.
Clearly there is a conspiracy led by Football fans preventing children from changing the channel.
Thank god for Disney, right?
Because they made THE BEST THANKSGIVING CARTOON EVER!
It’s even great for a non-Thanksgiving cartoon!
Cold Turkey is an all-time favorite and it stars Pluto and his best frenemy, Milton the Cat.
Okay, maybe it is not officially a Thanksgiving cartoon, but there is lots of turkey!
Hey, Bilbo are there turkeys in Middle Earth? Didn’t think so!
Cold Turkey goes down the way all late night eating disasters occur. Milton and Pluto are snoozing then a commercial comes on for “Lurkey’s Turkeys”.
Suddenly they develop turkey madness!
They must eat turkey!
I totally get this, I am not much of a meat eater, but I get turkey madness.
The commercial says, “there’s a Lurkey Turkey in every kitchen!” so Pluto and Milton try to find it. At first they work as a team, but as soon as they find the turkey in the fridge, full-fledged covetous turkey madness kicks into high gear, and the mayhem begins!
Since it is a short cartoon, I can’t tell you much else without revealing everything.
If you are prone to turkey madness, I recommend making sure you have access to a turkey sandwich before indulging in this delightful cartoon, so here is my recipe for The Best Turkey Sandwich in the World:
Eureka! Grainiac Organic Bread (or any good grain bread)
Maille Old Style Mustard (or any Brown Mustard)
A Big Handful of Cilantro
Green Bell Pepper Slices
Sliced Pepper Crusted Turkey from the Deli
So without further ado, I present Cold Turkey:
Don’t forget to visit event host Steve at MovieMovieBlogBlog and see some other all-time favorites.
Okay, now I am totally craving a turkey sandwich.
Ciao for now, dearies!
Don’t forget to mark your calendars!